Random Posts & Chaos

[gorkie]

Chelsea Handler quits instagram...

d5ace361a3330e8f876754d72e2d1eda.jpg

http://news.yahoo.com/chelsea-handler-t ... 14406.html

(and for the record Putin is a little turd nugget)

[Codeblue]

I've been serving on a jury the last four days. We're off today for Halloween. Supposedly the trial will be over next week. It's pretty heavy subject matter. Not fun

Legally avoiding jury duty is super easy.

[greg6906]

I've been serving on a jury the last four days. We're off today for Halloween. Supposedly the trial will be over next week. It's pretty heavy subject matter. Not fun

Legally avoiding jury duty is super easy.

Yeah, I'm honest and am taking pride in doing civic duty. Mock all you want, but someone has to do it, and I'm treating it very seriously.

[shagdonk]

Jury duty's for poors and busybodys.

[smokeycat]

This isn't happening... Started off the day at the dentist, stopped at D&D for joe and a donut. Now puking, light burns my eyes and I am going to crawl into a ball and hope it ends sooner than later.

You're always risking a curse or pox of some kind when you eat at Dungeons & Dragons.

Shouldn't have eaten it without wearing +10 constitution pants.

man that was rough. just woke up feeling %100 better. my guess was food poisoning. thanks DD for the first donut i've eaten this year and the last for many more. a "boston scream" donut. yeah right :/ i missed Croatoan

[jools]

lulz

[hellosir]

I've been serving on a jury the last four days. We're off today for Halloween. Supposedly the trial will be over next week. It's pretty heavy subject matter. Not fun

Legally avoiding jury duty is super easy.

Yeah, I'm honest and am taking pride in doing civic duty. Mock all you want, but someone has to do it, and I'm treating it very seriously.

You gonna send them to the Chair?

[fredo]

So, occasionally (like today in the car) when the 2.5 other stations worth listening to aren't pulling their weight around here I listen to bible radio. Which is just an audio book read by some midwestern nutbag in a pompous tone with the cd player set on random chapter/endless repeat mode. Turns out when you've got no skin in the game Ye Olde Testymount is actually pretty interesting- when it isn't boring as death. And so I enjoy it in small doses. But sometimes, as is the case with the readings today taken from the book of Malachi, it's straight drymounting fun. Malachi is the equivalent of Drunk History: starring God. Homie could not have been more random and hateful. It's a wonder anybody worshiped that guy.

Chapter 1:
And the Lord your God said: Y'see those Edomites over there? drymount those those guys. I -hic- hate them... forever. HEY DICKHEADS! GOOD LUCK GETTING A SINGLE GRAPE OUTTA THAT VINEYARD...smitesmitesmite... And another thing...you priests -points and wavers on his feet- eve...evry....ev-er-y...thing you give me ssssucks. It just does. You know why? Because you don't r'sp...wait, I told it wrong. You know what the problem is?...You don't drymounting RESPECT me. And you say "But how?" and I say...Cuz you're offerings suck. Bad. -5 minute vomit break- Ok, what? Oh, yeah...and your stuff sucks and you say again, you worthless shits, "But wwhy?" and I say...Because you don't r'speck me! And so I say your blind goats suck as gifts. And I hate you. Go in peace and don't...I HATE DIVORCE! Why do you lie to your WIFE, dude? You made a promise. "What promise" You promised that I am the lord your drymounting god, that's what...and you BROKE IT. drymountin' Edomites...edomite my dick -passes out-

Chapter 2
Oh, man...

[GiantBoyDective]

i read that in eddie murphy doing his drunk dad's voice

[fredo]

Me too. I came back to change the drunk history, but...screw it.

[hellosir]

Woulda guessed LSD

[RottenAtom]

[PrintNoob87]

Christ, that's great.

[Sithlord32]

Nothing like some ahole asking for concealed weapons that cant even keep his cool on the interwebz. he could have at least had a sense of humor about it it is funny and he put effort into making it so.

[fnord]