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Re: Election Giveaway

Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2021 8:31 pm
by fredo
fredo wrote:
Sat Nov 01, 2014 1:17 am
So, occasionally (like today in the car) when the 2.5 other stations worth listening to aren't pulling their weight around here I listen to bible radio. Which is just an audio book read by some midwestern nutbag in a pompous tone with the cd player set on random chapter/endless repeat mode. Turns out when you've got no skin in the game Ye Olde Testymount is actually pretty interesting- when it isn't boring as death. And so I enjoy it in small doses. But sometimes, as is the case with the readings today taken from the book of Malachi, it's straight drymounting fun. Malachi is the equivalent of Drunk History: starring God. Homie could not have been more random and hateful. It's a wonder anybody worshiped that guy.

Chapter 1:
And the Lord your God said: Y'see those Edomites over there? drymount those those guys. I -hic- hate them... forever. HEY DICKHEADS! GOOD LUCK GETTING A SINGLE GRAPE OUTTA THAT VINEYARD...smitesmitesmite... And another thing...you priests -points and wavers on his feet- eve...evry....ev-er-y...thing you give me ssssucks. It just does. You know why? Because you don't r'sp...wait, I told it wrong. You know what the problem is?...You don't drymounting RESPECT me. And you say "But how?" and I say...Cuz you're offerings suck. Bad. -5 minute vomit break- Ok, what? Oh, yeah...and your stuff sucks and you say again, you worthless shits, "But wwhy?" and I say...Because you don't r'speck me! And so I say your blind goats suck as gifts. And I hate you. Go in peace and don't...I HATE DIVORCE! Why do you lie to your WIFE, dude? You made a promise. "What promise" You promised that I am the lord your drymounting god, that's what...and you BROKE IT. drymountin' Edomites...edomite my dick -passes out-

Chapter 2
Oh, man...

Re: Election Giveaway

Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2021 11:16 pm
by Kramerica
Wow, lots of stupid on display there but the thing that stands out to me the most is Graham uses a flip phone? Wtf? Is he texting his dealer? Of all the things to get that asshat heckled at an airport, it was turning on Drumpf.

Re: Election Giveaway

Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2021 12:44 am
by jjttdw
The Graham flip phone is a burner he uses to set up sex hook-ups

#ladyg
#lindseysladybugs

Re: Election Giveaway

Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:54 pm
by eezypeezy
jjttdw wrote:
Fri Jan 08, 2021 3:47 pm

Hi cupcake.
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