Election Giveaway

That's right folks! They're just giving them away!
User avatar
fredo
Art God
Posts: 27056
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2009 7:26 pm
Location: ENZEE

Fri Jan 08, 2021 8:31 pm

fredo wrote:
Sat Nov 01, 2014 1:17 am
So, occasionally (like today in the car) when the 2.5 other stations worth listening to aren't pulling their weight around here I listen to bible radio. Which is just an audio book read by some midwestern nutbag in a pompous tone with the cd player set on random chapter/endless repeat mode. Turns out when you've got no skin in the game Ye Olde Testymount is actually pretty interesting- when it isn't boring as death. And so I enjoy it in small doses. But sometimes, as is the case with the readings today taken from the book of Malachi, it's straight drymounting fun. Malachi is the equivalent of Drunk History: starring God. Homie could not have been more random and hateful. It's a wonder anybody worshiped that guy.

Chapter 1:
And the Lord your God said: Y'see those Edomites over there? drymount those those guys. I -hic- hate them... forever. HEY DICKHEADS! GOOD LUCK GETTING A SINGLE GRAPE OUTTA THAT VINEYARD...smitesmitesmite... And another thing...you priests -points and wavers on his feet- eve...evry....ev-er-y...thing you give me ssssucks. It just does. You know why? Because you don't r'sp...wait, I told it wrong. You know what the problem is?...You don't drymounting RESPECT me. And you say "But how?" and I say...Cuz you're offerings suck. Bad. -5 minute vomit break- Ok, what? Oh, yeah...and your stuff sucks and you say again, you worthless shits, "But wwhy?" and I say...Because you don't r'speck me! And so I say your blind goats suck as gifts. And I hate you. Go in peace and don't...I HATE DIVORCE! Why do you lie to your WIFE, dude? You made a promise. "What promise" You promised that I am the lord your drymounting god, that's what...and you BROKE IT. drymountin' Edomites...edomite my dick -passes out-

Chapter 2
Oh, man...
just a foil for me today, thanks
User avatar
Kramerica
Art Freak
Posts: 14137
Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2012 11:37 am
Location: Corner of 1st & 1st

Fri Jan 08, 2021 11:16 pm

Wow, lots of stupid on display there but the thing that stands out to me the most is Graham uses a flip phone? Wtf? Is he texting his dealer? Of all the things to get that asshat heckled at an airport, it was turning on Drumpf.
When I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink. - BH
User avatar
jjttdw
Art Expert
Posts: 7420
Joined: Thu Feb 25, 2010 11:45 pm

Sat Jan 09, 2021 12:44 am

The Graham flip phone is a burner he uses to set up sex hook-ups

#ladyg
#lindseysladybugs
NEWPORTS69 wrote:ive kept journal for very long time and ranked public restrooms because i srs hate using them, was working on an app but im not very smart
eezypeezy
Art Enthusiast
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:34 pm

Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:54 pm

jjttdw wrote:
Fri Jan 08, 2021 3:47 pm

Hi cupcake.
Image
turnJBup
Art Expert
Posts: 9404
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:00 am
Location: California

Wed Apr 14, 2021 7:37 pm

Sup drymounters!?
User avatar
fredo
Art God
Posts: 27056
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2009 7:26 pm
Location: ENZEE

Thu Apr 15, 2021 1:18 am

Dodgers suck!
just a foil for me today, thanks
turnJBup
Art Expert
Posts: 9404
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:00 am
Location: California

Thu Apr 15, 2021 1:39 am

Sorry about your 2021 season bud!
It’s in the bag.
User avatar
bubbie
Art Expert
Posts: 7630
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 4:49 pm
Location: Canada

Thu Apr 15, 2021 1:42 am

fredo wrote:
Thu Apr 15, 2021 1:18 am
Baseball sucks!
turnJBup
Art Expert
Posts: 9404
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:00 am
Location: California

Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:21 pm

It’s like Chess.
Tough to follow for some... try soccer.
User avatar
Codeblue
Yaks 2 Much
Posts: 54212
Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2004 1:00 am
Location: Expresso Beans

Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:31 pm

He's more of a soccer on ice duke.
RupertPupkin wrote:I live by this rule and this rule alone: people are drymounting idiots.
turnJBup
Art Expert
Posts: 9404
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:00 am
Location: California

Thu Apr 15, 2021 5:33 pm

Image
turnJBup
Art Expert
Posts: 9404
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:00 am
Location: California

Thu Apr 15, 2021 6:53 pm

Image
User avatar
Codeblue
Yaks 2 Much
Posts: 54212
Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2004 1:00 am
Location: Expresso Beans

Thu Apr 15, 2021 6:59 pm

I mean baseball players get hurt running to first base so not exactly the pinnacle of athletic prowess either.
RupertPupkin wrote:I live by this rule and this rule alone: people are drymounting idiots.
User avatar
finneganm
Art Freak
Posts: 16539
Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2012 7:08 pm
Location: NJ

Thu Apr 15, 2021 7:10 pm

David Wells was paid a lot of money because he was an athlete.
...
...
That's what she said
turnJBup
Art Expert
Posts: 9404
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:00 am
Location: California

Fri Apr 16, 2021 4:02 am

Wells.., an embarrassment for sure.

If you see a baseball player writhing on the ground like a soccer player he’s out for the year.
Love to see a soccer player take a fastball to the ribs and walk to first without rubbing the spot. 🤣
Post Reply